The Wayward Podcast Episode 15: Wayward Happiness with Charlie Capen

The Wayward Podcast always makes me happy. This episode of the show invites a much anticipated guest into our lives. If you don’t yet know who Charlie Capen is, we’re about to help you with that! The three of them had some great info and tips on Wayward Happiness.

When I heard The Wayward Podcast was going to exist, I was super excited for so many reasons. One of those reasons is that I was going to get to really know these two women who I thought, from a fan’s view, were really badass and beautiful souls.

Now that I’ve had all these weeks of conversation with them via the podcast, comments, social media, (and OK, I’ll admit- often in my own brain), I see something cool. These two women are exactly who I thought they were.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have learned a LOT about both of them, and certainly also about myself, for that matter. But what I understand is that something superior is true of them, and really of the entire SPN Family I love. They really are these badass humans they seem to be. And guess what? They have created all these other amazing families! Families like GISH, which I love, love, love.

Not only is there nothing fake about them, but they are even more cool as hell than I could have imagined. I’m finding myself writing about this show and cleverly thinking up little trinkets and plots to send them things that would make them laugh, or be otherwise giddy. (On that note, K&B, I really do want to send you something, but to where???).

GISH is my cup of tea, let me tell you. You probably have seen some of my other writing about it, which I try to do pretty often here on SPN Hunters. GISH is how I first learned of Mr. Charlie Capen. In fact, he is one of the two people (and none of the goats) responsible for my original adventure into GISHland. He literally, personally helped me get my feet on the ground when I was gishborn. (Hi Charlie! Thanks!)

So you know now why I was super excited to see this episode was going to feature someone who I also think is very awesome. Charlie Capen joined the wayward women in Kim’s closet for this episode, and it was everything I hoped for. More, seriously. The good news? He is also even more awesome than I thought.

Charlie is a guy, a dad (a special kind of dad, according to some Instagrammers), an actor, a blogger, and a life-changer. This 6-foot, light eyed wondermaker has done a bunch of stuff, has a hugely amazing heart, and has no plans of slowing down soon.

Before you continue, make sure you’ve listened to “Wayward Happiness” if you don’t want spoilers. I will talk all about what they talked about and there will be quotes and stuff. As always, if you need accommodations for enjoying The Wayward Podcast, check the end of this post for a link to transcriptions and translations provided by a lovely team of volunteers!

When you feel like you’re ready to move forward, click on through. It’s time to see what the wayward world had in store for us on this episode. So come on! Let’s check out what the wayward trio had to say about life, blogging, GISH, parenthood, and general wayward happiness!

Charlie wears all the hats

Before we get digging, let’s learn who we’re dealing with here. Charlie Capen has a list of accomplishments and involvements that reminds me of another little magic maker I know- Misha Collins. So it’s no surprise the two of them are friends and work together. Charlie is the “Vice President of Strategy and Operations” at GISH (formerly GISHWHES)!

Have you ever seen strangers from 100 countries raise $265,000 in less than a week, to help a group of Rwandan women build farms to take care of their villages? I have-I helped! From world records for collecting socks for the homeless to enabling sustainable communities for genocide survivors (did you see Hotel Rwanda?), GISH literally changes lives all the time.

Seriously, I cannot explain this hard enough. Not just the beneficiaries of the many fundraisers and gift collections, but as small but meaningful as each of those who participate. And those who participate are not always strangers. Basically, the entirety of the Supernatural cast is involved at one point or another, some in very big ways.

"You can be a self-obsessed, narcissistic, terrible human being who’s competitive and just wants to win something … or you can be a do-gooding philanthropist who wants to save the world. Both routes of play are valid."

GISH is a very strange and unique landing point for odd adventures and miracles. You can go join right this second! We’re saving unicorns up in there (real ones- go see)! Charlie describes GISH as “part army, part cult, part game, part… performance art?” Briana affirms that she believes it’s “mostly cult.” Charlie did confirm the culty aspects (this is all in fun, I assure you), but landed on 15% cult, 85% game. But don’t be scared, it’s a good time.

https://twitter.com/GISH/status/1096855585801162752

And all of this is tied into Random Acts, where you’ll find even more familiar faces. You’ll hear more about that soon because Rachel Miner is the Executive Director of that little beauty and she’s on the next episode of The Wayward Podcast! Bottom line, all of these endeavors are about kindness. The network is v-a-s-t, let me tell you.

But by no means is GISH all he’s up to. As if it weren’t a complete and incredible mission of its own, this role is complemented by his own endeavors; blogging, social media entertainment stuff, running marathons, acting, making music, and his most important role- Dad. From the sounds of it, and as I believe it should be, the reality is that all the other things are really a compliment to that.

His investment into parenting doesn’t stop at his own front door, either. Having spent about eight years blogging on a crazy awesome site he co-founded with a friend, he talked about the realities of parenting with the focus on fatherhood. He wanted to “debunk, demystify, destress parenting.”

Apparently, he did that well, because his work has been literally everywhere in media, and he took his know-how to The White House. He answered some questions with Dads4Change, where he is a current writer, and he spoke about gender stereotyping- with kids and in society.

So, his current focus is on GISH and this is something I know a little about. Believe me, there are lots of people who know more, but I am very interested in what goes on and I am in my second year as a participant. GISH is a whole set of posts for you on its own, but following some of these links will give you the rundown.

Boiling the ocean

I could go on and on about Charlie Capen, believe me. But we have many big things to talk about! The Wayward Podcast is where we are and there is much to be said about that. Charlie joined Kim and Briana in the closet (I don’t know if drinks were provided). No one was stabbed.

After Charlie got the explanation of where the running joke came from of Kim wanting to stab him, everyone had a laugh. As it turns out, Kim doesn’t actually want to stab him, it’s just that they apparently think quite alike and he seems to frequently voice her ideas before she does. She says that she loves him very much, though, and it’s all good.

After some good chatter and giggles with their first official guest (that wasn’t locked out of their apartment), Kim and Briana went into full “welcome to our podcast” mode for a time. In an interview format, Charlie was issued questions and they had short discussions about each topic as it related to wayward happiness.

Charlie told us that he has two distinct sides to what he looks to for inner happiness and joy. “I think happiness and joy are really about mirroring my creativity and need to provide something, build something, for others around me,” he shared.

More from Supernatural

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• Will The Winchesters be saved? (Can Supernatural fans save the prequel?)
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• Is a new episode of The Winchesters on tonight? (March 14, 2023)
• The Winchesters Season1 finale explained: Did it connect to Supernatural?

Of course, like many of us, he developed his sense of purpose from his childhood experiences and his parents’ influences. However, as an adult, also like many of us, he is on his own journey to find out what truly satisfies him and makes him thrive. He talked about his parents and said he had two very different examples from each of them.

While his father was a very “follow your bliss” type, as he called it, his mother was very focused on her job caring for the family first. So Charlie has this constant inner struggle between these two extremes. He wants both, bt needs them to live together in harmony. It’s a juggling act, and you can’t boil the ocean.

Charlie struggles between building stability for his kids, which is happiness in itself, and creating big, huge, new things for a lot of people to enjoy (including himself). Immediately, I was thinking of that old proverb best known as a Cherokee tale about the two wolves. And by the way, Charlie, did we just become best friends? Namaste, brother.

Kim acknowledged that this is a tough struggle. You want to be this best person and go follow those creative desires so you can have more fruitful relationships, but it doesn’t matter if you don’t show up for the relationships. You want to go on a vision quest or whatever, but it’s a thing “because you’re in the desert, and your kids probably are not.”

Charlie agreed, this is the issue. He says several times that he’s “working on that.” This is what led to what I feel like was the rest of the podcast. Onto the information we hear nearly every podcast, I feel like. The main event — “Now is what is real.” Ideally, he says, “when I can survive and I can create …I feel happiest.”

Poor Charlie wasn’t ready. At one point, the tide turned in the conversation and I had a very healthy laugh when he cried out like a little kid, “This is the part where you help me!.. This is going to be amaaaazingggg! You’re gonna help me, right?”

Briana said that was “literally not what’s going to happen right now.” She added that if he was helped by this conversation, it was absolutely an accident. I was making some serious chuckle noises. So glad I decided not to listen to this after the kids were asleep. But then Kim added quietly, “we can try…”

And so it began.

Sweat lodge visions

Somewhere after the talk about being in the desert and missing his kids, our friend Charlie broke a full sweat. Kim even got up to open the door to the closet. But a sweat lodge is a “sweaty and enjoyable” place to be, just like Charlie’s description of his experience on the show. Everybody gets purified. Let’s do this.

Was it the intense line of questions? Was it the closet’s cozy quarters? Did he drink a detox smoothie earlier? We can’t know. But with the heat, sweat, and meaningful curiosities, things ended up going into a visionary place.

Pretty rapidly, what we got was something I’ve grown to love from The Wayward Podcast. Some excellent conversation between friends turned a sharp corner into philosophy and seriousness but in a digestible, sweetened manner. Very enjoyable, enriching banter, you might say.

As I said, I suspect that poor Charlie wasn’t ready. At one time, he cried out, “Wait, is this therapy?!” Sorry, Charlie! But yes, yes it is. We all take something from every episode. And it wasn’t long before he gave into the magic and let himself fall right into the pool of wonder.

Well anyway, you do have to be down with therapy to really receive it, and anyone could use a little chat from time to time. But I don’t think he needed it. Charlie Capen may be working on some things, but that’s a huge sign of stability and wisdom. I do think something else happened here for him though. Like the rest of us, he surely left changed- changed by his very own wayward hand. Yay us!

In fact, Briana mentioned that this is one of the things that makes her feel happy. Kim asked what everyone’s body does when they feel happiness, and this is one of the ways she gets that feeling. Briana says she experiences a sense of calm and being present when she feels happy.

Having an authentic conversation, getting to truly know people, that is a fulfilling experience for her. She talks about how this leads to her learning more about them, and also herself, which is something that gives her a happy. Yes, Briana, I am here for this. This is me, and this is what happens to me when I listen to the podcast. (I am available to chat, let me know LOL).

She is not in the place where Kim talks about trying not to go. She isn’t in the anticipation of the future, or the regret of the past. They talked about how everything that isn’t happening right now is really just all in our heads. Kim talked about how she has a spiritual connection with the moment.

One of the things they got into was the fact that in order to find happiness, you have to take the initial step of recognizing unhappiness. It’s the age old dilemma — “I may not know what I want, but I sure know what I don’t want!” There are steps, Charlie reminded us.

How to happy

Oh wait, did you think I was about to give you the answers? Well, no. The reality is that it’s different for everyone. The Wayward Podcast is a platform for talking about what makes us tick, but even Kim and Briana always affirm that we are all unique and must find our own paths.

However, tips are always available, and the trio gave us a few of their thoughts. Charlie and Kim went over how important it is to be present in the moment and to find gratitude here. Charlie likes to go to special places where he finds joy and happiness, like camping in Yosemite.

But the hike can be treacherous, so he is often reminding himself to enjoy the road to his goals. The road is part of the journey. Kim talked about how the hike can be great and she can be in the moment and grateful, but if she gets to the summit and it’s crappy weather, no view, then that hike turns to crap in her mind. They’re working on that.

Charlie told us about the single most embarrassing moment of his life. Not to rub it in, but apparently, his father once picked him up from middle school – aka judgment row – wearing a towel. I think he simultaneously died and was born that day.

While he has tried things like performing naked on stage, he believes nothing will ever touch the devastation of that day. Now he is free to do anything he wants because he’s overcome that embarrassment. Kim jumped in when it came to talking about shame.

“Shame is a big voice in my head,” she shared. Kim has spoken on this many times and many of us deeply understand. But they all agree that when you overcome that voice, like Charlie said, you come to the point of “Now that I’ve done that, what else can I do?”

So Briana poses the question to us, “What if happiness is present at all times, and nothing but a choice?” Kim had a good way of explaining that it could be very simple, but not necessarily easy. They all want us to remember that being grateful is the way to find our own happiness, wherever it lives.

“You’re more likely to find things you look for,” Kim said. Even in times of strife or pain, look hard and you can find something, anything to be grateful for. “Happiness is not about the ego, it’s about the self. And the self is all of us,” said Briana.

Like Charlie, we can take great joy from helping others, creating, demonstrating stability and joy. And from within that joy, happiness will grow. You can do it! Feed your wolves, look within, share yourself with others, create, enjoy. Carry on, my happy, wayward friends.

What do you want to say about happiness? Did any of these topics hit home for you? What was your most embarrassing moment? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below, or send us a tweet to keep the conversation going!

The Wayward Podcast has new and archived episodes all available at Podbean! If you need assistance enjoying the show, check out these transcripts and translations!